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THE ELECTION SONG
Now election fraud is undetectable, thanks to Professor Hack HardDrive, who hacks polling places to fix elections. This is the perfect rap song for our times. The professor uses his secret satellite in the sky to make sure his candidate wins! Watch out, Diebold, because Professor Hack Harddrive knows how to game your electronic voting machines! |
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YOU'RE THINNER, YOU'RE FATTER
Professor Hack Harddrive’s® funny high-energy theme song for everyone who has ever experienced the ups and downs of yo-yo dieting. Have you put back on all the weight you lost and are now thinking of liposuction or lap-bands? If this song doesn't convince you to finally eat right, then it's time for goodbye and the last long goodnight. |
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AIRPORT SECURITY
There’s nothing secure about Airport Security now that they’re frisking Professor Hack Harddrive, because he drove their metal detectors wild. And all because he had a penny in his pocket! |
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MY TATTOOS
“One day I didn’t have anything to do, so I decided to get my first tattoo.” Would you believe that Professor Hack Harddrive is covered with tattoos from head to toe? Well, maybe not really, but in this epic,the professor proves the dangers of falling asleep in a tattoo parlor, because you might wake up as a thoroughly illustrated man. |
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DOWNLOADING YOU
Professor Hack Harddrive offends the world of rap with this song about how he plans to download his girlfriend into his LAP-top. Performed in Times Square at twilight, it’s a treasure for horny males everywhere. This is the ultimate geek mantra,because every computer term of the internet era has a slightly warped and twisted meaning in this zany rant. Watch out, girls, Professor Hack HardDrive's gonna bite all your Megabytes! |
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ALBERT THE ELEVATOR ALLIGATOR
On the streets of New York, Professor Hack Harddrive tells of Albert, the brilliant young alligator from the sewers who dreams of joining the human white collar labor force by working in a skyscraper to help solve New York’s problems of traffic control. |
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PROFESSOR HACK HARDDRIVE ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS
We captured Professor Hack Harddrive spontaneously in his classroom setting as curious students ask him about modern music, hybrid cars, modern horror films, what he thinks of Apple and a host of other questions. His answers will bend your mind and send you into spiraling depths of total confusion, which they say is very good for invigorating the brain.
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WE LOVE YOU, WE HATE YOU
This Professor Hack Harddrive song was featured by Dr. Demento as the lead-off for his spring show. It’s the ultimate show business song, because one minute they love you, the next minute they hate you… and if your talents suddenly start making money for “the man” then he’ll love you again. |
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BETTER HUG YOUR SISTER
Do you think a rebel like Professor Hack Harddrive doesn’t support good ol’ Republican family values? Well, think again, because in this poem he takes down all you wayward big brothers who haven’t hugged their sisters in a blue moon. Hack says: “When all your big plans fall apart, remember the gal who was always close to your heart!” |
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WE'RE MOVING, WE'RE STAYING
Fellows, are you married, and is your wife lobbying for remodeling the kitchen? Is she threatening World War III if you don't give in and say okay? It will cost you a fortune, so is it better to move to a new place that already has a better kitchen or stay and call in the contractor? Professor Hack Harddrive went through this, and you'll find his growth and wisdom on the subject to be enlightening and frightening. |
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ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER
If you multi-task a lot and have played videogames since you were a kid, you may have the same problem Professor Hack Harddrive has: Attention Deficit Discorder. That means your attention span is shorter, with your mind right at the border. The border of what? We're talking about sanity here, so listen to what the professor has to say if you want to keep yours. |
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YOU'RE HIRED, YOU'RE FIRED!
Hope or dismay, which one describes the unemployment epidemic? Professor Hack Harddrive nails the downsizing dilemma in fiery rhyme. You're just the one they need, you work with such great speed, come back to work, whoever laid you off was a jerk! But then disaster strikes, they're going broke, you're fired again, my friend. But then you're re-hired... for a week! Uh oh,stocks are crashing, the banks are next. You're out, you're in, you're out. Take an aspirin and come back in a year. Until then unemployment will have to do, for you and you and you! |
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THE WIKILEAKS SONG
We’ve all heard about the troubles of Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks. Well, Professor Hack Harddrive has been arrested and sings this rap song to Julian…from jail. The professor hacked the wrong harddrive and he’s now on the Pentagon’s “Most Dangerous” list but he’s more of a threat to your funnybone than to national security. The ultimate send-up of conspiracy theories for fans of "Coast to Coast" radio and "Mental Radio.” |
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YOU'RE A GIRL, A BOY AM I
A light-hearted fun frolic as a boy sings to that special girl who doesn't want to play and who always runs away. It sounds innocent at first, like the ice skaters and store mannequins that tell the story. But in these 3 minutes you'll find love, jealousy, a bit of youthful lust... and the war of the sexes that sometimes leads to marriage! Filmed and performed by Paul Jeffrey Davids in New York City at Rockefeller Center during the winter holidays. |